I’m writing this entry at a fairly low point. I’m not going to vomit my problems all over you, because compared to most of the world, I lead a very blessed life. With that being said, I find myself in one of those downward spirals. Last weekend I was able to get out of town and take a break from the normal grind. I came back, ready to attack my issues on that Monday morning. What I found was more of the same. I won’t lie, getting myself out of bed that morning, knowing that I had to revisit many issues which I left the previous Friday morning was not motivating. I found myself procrastinating on the simplest things, and fearing to make this phone call, or start that task.
So here I sit on Tuesday morning, starting to feel some of the same things. Problems are still unresolved, and other obstacles have snowballed into things I cannot ignore for any longer. My guess is that you’ve been here before too, and if not, you will be soon. It is just life, just things which come up which test our sanity, and push us to throw in the towel before we even start a new day with new hope.
Sometimes we even notice that we have the tools to feel better, whether it be a walk outside in nature, spending extra time with our kids who we dearly love, or trying a new strategy to attack an old problem. But we don’t want to do any of them. It is learned helplessness, where we get caught in that negative cycle where we avoid any move… such as approach avoidance describes. “Why bother” becomes our mantra, and action of any kind gets analyzed and then analyzed again until we just don’t do anything.
But here is where God’s great little gift comes into play. Choice.
If you say that we can’t choose how we feel, you’ve already lost, and you might as well throw in the towel. If you say you can’t do anything right, you are right, and most likely you won’t do anything… therefore supporting your hypothesis. You become a self-fulfilling prophecy the way you were not intended to live, or grow, or be happy.
Understanding you have the choice to feel something new this second gives you hope. Doing something like trying something old a new way, or doing something old because today might be different are all choices. God did not make us robots, and my guess is that if you’re reading this you are not a poverty stricken under resourced child in a country the world has forgotten. As a result of those blessings, you have options beyond your wildest dreams. Seeing those options is a choice.
Everyday you have a choice, regardless of how your last year went, what happened last month or even how yesterday unfolded. It doesn’t matter how you were brought up, because today you have a choice. Did you lose your job last week? Well, today you have a choice. Are you still hurting from your divorce? Today you have a choice. Did a loved one pass away unexpectedly, did your house burn down or your dreams failed for the hundredth time. All of those are horrible things, but today you have to choose.
This is far from a pump up talk, and today I’m not going to tell you how great you are, how special you were when you were younger or will be rewarded for your hard work when you mature a bit more. My point in writing this was to remind myself and you, that today you must decide on how you are going to feel, and what you are going to do. The journey you’re on will not be easy most likely, and believe it or not, you’ll face more days like this… some even worse. What I do know is that even in those worse days, you’ll have a choice.
One of the most important questions you can ask yourself today, right now, is what are you choosing?