It can be overwhelming. Most of us have plenty of experiences “white knuckling” it, where we try, try and try some more until we’re red in the face. We end up tired, frustrated, and sometimes motivated to actually give in – saying “what’s the use!”.
Here is an idea for you: Ask God to change your heart. Ask Him to change your desires, how you act, what you say, even change part of your personality.
Over the last couple years I’ve dealt with a part of me I’m not proud of, and something which has consistently led me back to sin. I’ve tried various kinds of “behavior modification”, used everything my Master’s Degree has taught me, and everything pop psychology and self-help books have to offer too.
Still, no change.
I finally came to a point where I had to realize that “I” was not working. Surrendering to God and letting Him do the work was one of the most liberating things I ever tried. Here is the crazy thing… I really don’t “desire” that sin anymore. It is like being addicted to Chocolate HoHo’s, where you’re are slamming down a half dozen a day. You make special runs to gas stations and convenient stores to to buy “one more” HoHo.
You are out of control, stuffing HoHo’s in your car during commutes, having them after every meal, and then even having them for your meals throughout the day. You have one right when you get up, and two right before you get to bed. Your week is made when you find a store which sells boxes of them, and are totally depressed when they run out of boxes a month later… mainly because your consumption is out of control and you’ve made the shop owner very rich… but, out of HoHo’s.
Your life has become HoHo’s without you knowing it. Your work is effected, you choose HoHo’s over your family, and in a weird way eating HoHo’s has caused such a negative cycle in your life, HoHo’s push you farther away from God. Shame now drives you to hide your HoHo addiction from your friends, and you pray for the day to never come when your family asks you where all of these HoHo wrapers have come from.
Ok, I’ve completely killed the HoHo metaphor, but I hope you get my point.
We all have our own HoHo’s.
Shopping, gossiping, superior attitude, violent outbursts, porn, eating, casual sex, laziness, cooped up anger, the love of money, unresolved fights, smoking, depression, isolation…
What is your HoHo?
What have you been trying to defeat on your own, and have failed at time and time again. It is time to let it go… It is time to stop trying to use your own means, and ask God to not just change your behavior or thought patterns, but change your heart.
For me, and my HoHo, God has lessened my desire for it. He has lessened so much where I’m repulsed by it in a way. I don’t want any part of it. My HoHo is not a desire which pulls me in anymore, it is a “thing” which my heart doesn’t want anymore.
What is your HoHo? God would love for you to ask Him for a change of heart right now.