I won’t lie, I didn’t feel good about it. I was ideally praying that I didn’t want to pray. … But I believe that is ok. Prayer is not suppose to be pretty all of the time. Many times we can’t see all of the things we need to be grateful for. Other times we have a very heavy, uncompassionate heart which makes it very difficult to fully forgive someone who has hurt us. That is ok… pray about those feelings. Pray about how bad of a situation you’re in right now, all of the pressure you’re feeling, the hate you have and ask all of the questions you’re confused on why God is not answering right now.
My point is to pray what is on your mind. Pray about your hurt, your sin, your true feelings. God knows how you’re feeling, so you’re not going to hide anything from Him… but I think not praying about it is one of the worst things you can do. You’re acting like nothing is wrong, or even think by not praying you’ll show God up or something… when all you are doing is hurting yourself more. Those times when I felt like garbage and meekly muttered a prayer of my real feelings, I can say that I knew in my heart, beyond all of my brokeness, God was there. And to me, that made all of the difference.